Dear Little Girl Who So Delightfully Engaged Me in Conversation This Morning...

What an adorable person you are.  I'm sure that angels periodically rejoice at your beautiful existence in this world.  Thank you for brightening my day.

Dear Benevolent Snack Bringer...

Thanks so much for your providential timing.  My breakfast had long worn off and lunch time was so far away.

Dear Chiropractic Care...

Bless you for keeping me aligned.  I just wish you weren't so stinkin' expensive.

Dear Boredom...

I really don't know what to do with you.  You're such a stranger to my life that I simply don't know how to entertain you.  So, I'm extending you an open door invitation.  Come around more often so that we can get to know each other a bit better.

Dear Offspring...

Please stay in your beds.  All night.  Every night.  Amen.

A Housecleaning Tip

Never use the vacuum to dispose of a dead cricket.  It might turn out to be alive and subsequently stain your nice ivory-hued carpet and putridly stink up your otherwise nice-smelling home.

Dear Eating with Chopsticks...

You give me a special sense of gratification, especially when I've successfully eaten noodles while using you.

Dear Labor Day 2011...

You were day full of absolutely nothing.  And I loved every moment of you.