Dear Pei Wei...

Eating your new Lemon Grass Chicken Noodle Salad was like consuming a bowl of black pepper with slight hints of citrus.  Shall I introduce you to the drawing board?

Dear Traffic Jam I Recently Experienced...

I wish I could say you were full of marvelous blessings in disguise.  The noisy children in my car prevented any meaningful prayer or planning time.  The selfish drivers around me made me angry.  So I guess I want to say "thanks" for making me long for home.  I was glad to get there.

Dear Heartbreak...

Why is it that you're not contained to just one stage of life?  Why must you be a familiar acquaintance throughout life's journey?

Dear Saturday...

You came at precisely the right time, but you departed entirely too quickly.  Come again soon, but stick around longer next time.

Dear Little Girl Who So Delightfully Engaged Me in Conversation This Morning...

What an adorable person you are.  I'm sure that angels periodically rejoice at your beautiful existence in this world.  Thank you for brightening my day.

Dear Benevolent Snack Bringer...

Thanks so much for your providential timing.  My breakfast had long worn off and lunch time was so far away.

Dear Chiropractic Care...

Bless you for keeping me aligned.  I just wish you weren't so stinkin' expensive.

Dear Boredom...

I really don't know what to do with you.  You're such a stranger to my life that I simply don't know how to entertain you.  So, I'm extending you an open door invitation.  Come around more often so that we can get to know each other a bit better.

Dear Offspring...

Please stay in your beds.  All night.  Every night.  Amen.

A Housecleaning Tip

Never use the vacuum to dispose of a dead cricket.  It might turn out to be alive and subsequently stain your nice ivory-hued carpet and putridly stink up your otherwise nice-smelling home.